Buster Keaton

I had a fierce craving for onion rings yesterday. I haven't had them in so long, and I decided that it was worth a shot to go to the grocery store and check the frozen food section. Nope, no onion rings. However, they did have . . . fried calimari rings! Joy! They were really delicious too, albeit a little chewy at times.

I just got out of my Comedy in Cinema class. We just started on Buster Keaton last class, and my professor dedicated the two hours to wax poetic on how great Buster was. It got a little excessive at one point. He was describing how graceful his comedy was, and how refined of a comedian he could be, and then he started talking about the elongation of Buster's face and how it gave him a graceful attractiveness, and he continued in that vein for about ten minutes. This man has a serious Buster fixation. He then compared Buster to Charlie Chaplin, describing Chaplin as having an 'awkward vulgarity', and whose physical appearance was buffoonish whereas Keaton always retained his smooth elegance. Don't hate on Chaplin, dude. I think that he's very cute.

So anyway, after two hours of this, he passes out a packet from the International Colloquium of the Comedic Genre that was held here in May of 1996. Turns out, he had written an article that was published in it. Guess what it was about? Oh, yes. Comedy and Beauty: The Keaton Legacy. Wow.

He also kept referring to Coney Island as Coney Iceland.

Suzy and I are waging passive-agressive war on the landlady. We've been keeping the heat turned to the 'summer' setting so far, since it keeps the hot water going but not the radiators. It was certainly a comfortable option. However, when the landlady came in to show us how to work the oven (obviously we should have known to turn the gas on, adjust the temperature, then stick a lighted match through a tiny hole in the bottom of the stove), she noticed that the radiators weren't on. She threw a mini tantrum, saying that she'd gotten some heat guy to check out our stats before we'd moved in and they were perfect! So we shouldn't touch anything! Nothing! She moved the heat bar over to halfway and warned us not to touch it again.

Oh well, we tried. That night, I woke up at about 3:30 in the morning because it was so darned hot! It was like a sauna! I shouldn't be sweating in January. So I snuck into the kitchen and turned it off again. I secretly think that she is going to sneak in and check our heating status when we aren't home. We'll see.

Long Time

I have been so boring lately! Lots of Seinfeld, lots of homework. I didn't have any batteries so I haven't been able to take pictures. It should be rectified soon. Don't worry.

Coldness

I take back anything nice I ever said about the weather here. It's been cold, and not just cold, but windy as heck. I'm slowly becoming a hermit.

Also, my nose is becoming inflamed and sore because I keep blowing it on that crappy industrial toilet paper that we have in the house. I think my nose is going to run away from my face like in those dumb commercials.

Ooh, pretty sky.







It's already gone, but the other day some wag put a bottle of vodka on the top of the statue on the fountain. The picture doesn't show it, but it was a pretty high statue.




Because I've been spending so much time in it lately, here's some pictures of my kitchen in its culinary splendor. I mean, the color is really ugly, but the fridge is wonderful since most people only have a dorm-sized deal where you have to put everything in sideways and remove all the contents to get to stuff at the back and things spill like crazy. Our landlady has been MIA for two weeks so we still don't know how the oven works. I feel like I should be concerned that she's been gone so long. She mentioned going to visit her daughter who just had a baby, so maybe the kid was exceptionally cute.



This is our semi-stocked refrigerator that is sadly not so full anymore. Basically I've been surviving on omelettes, bananas, cornflakes, and fake grilled cheese sandwiches. Sounds like my life last year, minus a ton of Blueberry Morning.

Meds and Skipping Class

My cinema teacher must really be trying to avoid me. First, we were supposed to have class on Fridays. Two weeks in a row I show up, no class. Then some girl said that section was cancelled, and it's really on Tuesday mornings at 9:30. I get there this morning, nope! It was changed to yesterday. God, argh! I had Corinne at the office call them to straighten everything out and they said that the time of the class will be changing every week. Lovely.

In even worse news (I'm a bummer today), I have a terrific head cold that kept me up for quite awhile last night until I made a beeline for the meds. I don't know how many multi-symptom night-time softgels one is supposed to take at a time, but however many I had was definitely sufficient. I was surprised to wake up this morning. I will say though; the French medical system is very efficient. I came into the office yesterday afternoon at 4:30 and mentioned that I wanted to set up a doctor's appointment some time this week, and Corinne had me in the waiting room by 5:05. I was out the door and in a pharmacy by 5:45. By the way, their medicine is vile. The liquid stuff (they gave me two huge bottles, like I'm going to finish them both) tastes like actual maple syrup, but with a Slush Puppy faux cherry aftertaste that lingers, and the nose spray (which makes me feel like I'm drowning) smells like Nair. You know, the hair removal stuff. It's not a good smell at all, and since I have to huff it, there's no way to not smell it.

Friday Post

This is one of my favorite pictures of the church, mainly due to the whimsical lampposts.





Because even regular things here are very ornate, the knocker on our door has been molded into a woman's hand, complete with ring. I don't know why we need a special knocker as well as a doorbell, but maybe some people are really impatient.



I don't know what the deal is with these mosaic things all over the place. Every so often, there's a street corner with one of them plastered into the actual wall. I should make it a hobby to take a picture of each one I find.

At first I didn't think that the video dispenser near my apartment was that unbelievably expensive. I, of course, would not pay 2.50 euros for 6 hours of video, but it's not in the realm of fantasy. However, I did notice the smaller print at the bottom warning that if you lose the DVD, you have to pay a fine of 77 euros! Egads! That's like $100! I think I would be too paranoid to even think about renting from there.


I found a new favorite sign the other day. It reads "Please do not urinate - or do anything else! - in front of the access doors. Thank you". A very necessary sign, but I don't know if that will keep the bodily wastes down.

This is my adopted alley kitty for the semester. I don't think it's a homeless cat, since it has a collar, but it's always outside in the same place and it really likes me. She's a percher - always perching on things. Especially vehicles.

Adorable. I can't tell if she's just fat or if she's pregnant.






Who would wear this? It looks like a tacky version of the Ghost from Christmas Yet to Come.







I almost had a heart attack the other day coming off of the tram when I looked in front of me and saw not one but two rats perching atop some guy's shoulder. I know that this is the blurriest, crappiest picture ever, but I thought that using flash to take a photo of a possibly homeless person was not a smart idea.

Notice here that I am totally busted by the guy on the left. Oh, it was really awkward. I had to hurry up and pretend like the Opera was really, really fascinating



Later on, I saw this dude washing his balloon in the fountain. I think he may have been crazy. He approached a lot of different people but I couldn't understand what he was saying to them. This group of sullen teenagers don't look like they are welcoming him into their conversation.

Schedule

Since everyone is really, really interested, I'll pause a moment and put my Spring 2007 schedule up. You're welcome.

Monday: Phonetics, 2:00 - 4:00
Tuesday: Comedy in Cinema, 2:00 - 4:00
Wednesday: no classes, take that.
Thursday: Promised Lands, 1:30 - 3:30; French Literature 4:00 - 6:00
Friday: Shakespeare and Mythology, 9:30 - 11:30; Cinema 12:30 - 2:00; Grammar, 3:00 - 6:00.

So besides Friday, the week is pretty sweet. Monday through Wednesday I basically don't have to set an alarm. Thursday too, I suppose.

No Pictures

Sadly, the mediatheques in Montpellier don't care about the convenience of their patrons, seeing as they are closed completely on Sundays and Mondays and don't open until noon on Tuesday. As that was my only plan this morning, I wasted an hour riding around on a random bus line which enabled me to see a lot of suburban sprawl.

To add another complaint, there must be a zoo wind going since the entire campus here at Paul-Valery smells like fiery crap. Gross.

I took a long walk last night and congratulated myself too soon on not seeing any random insane people. One street before my apartment, this old lady with wild hair and a crazy lazy eye said something. I took out my earphones and asked her to repeat it. She mumbled something incoherent and finished it off with "are you scared?" I told her that I had no idea what she was talking about so she threw up her hands and told me to never mind. Oh, weirdness.

In phonetics yesterday we spent two hours differentiating between the "eee" sound and the "ooo" sound. This is how tough my life is, folks. In one section, we had to put vowel and consonent together in harmony and work back and forth between the eee's and ooo's. A particularly humorous exercise involved us saying things like "peee pooo pooo pooo peee peee pooo pooo pee". How is that not funny? I was the only one in the class even smiling. Grinches.

Suzy and I watched Friends last night and oh, it was not the same. Ross's voice went down multiple octaves and Janice didn't even sound abnormal. I've heard tell that Scrubs comes on at midnight but it would have to be a pretty wild night to get me to stay up that late.

The Last Birthday that Really Counts

Happy 21st Birthday, Laura! These manly specimens of gladiatorial combat drew us in with their fanciful costume and flattering ways. We succumbed and posed with them several times, and upon leaving they promptly charged us five euros.


Ah, such is Rome. The one on the left was studly indeed.

Marathon

Yesterday was amazingly awesome, weather-wise. Even the Three Graces are dancing. I would say it was around sixty-five, which was cold enough for a jacket but warm enough to be comfortable without one.

Four others and I went on a crusade to the newly-discovered Musketeers supermarket that requires a ride on the new Line 2. It was sublime. I even signed up for one of those invasive discount cards because they seemed very worth it. Not only did I get a full-sized cards, they threw in three keychain attachments. How many keys should I have to warrant that?

They caught us right away (before we even got to the produce) with all of the clearance sale Christmas candy. This moody Santa eyed us creepily. Oh, he was pretty awful. And huge! Check out his size compared to Carol in the background. You could have used him as a doorstop, and obviously you would since who could eat such a merry, jolly Santa?

Ah yes, of course. Generic store brands. It’s like heroin for me. Theirs wasn’t as interesting as Carrefour’s, but it wasn’t bad. He was ‘Kid Hero’, a bland youth peddling Crica’Milk (ew). Nothing really special about him, save the odd haircut and the three eye-level freckles.


France wouldn’t be France without the Indians. I’m not sure if this young brave has a name, but it doesn’t really matter.

This cereal looked kind of gross, but I was focusing more on the fact that our brave is clad in a sort of loincloth meets Jockey briefs. Also, his face seems to have swallowed his eye.

This gopher/guinea pig/bear? Seems to be the leader of the Tumador trio, judging by the logo. Either that or he is just huge compared to t he rest of them. Oh, maybe he’s a beaver with the teeth and all. And where is he looking? Not at the book of corn balls with honey, not at the prospective consumer. Probably checking out that guy’s loincloth.

I always laugh at this guy, not only for the fez and odd facial features, but because it seems like someone was trying to spell banana and didn’t know where to stop. Once again, we have an example of quotes where none are needed at the top of the box. What kind of ‘adventures’ is Banania having on the back of the box? Why didn’t I find out? Oh, remorse.

These little guys were in the bakery section. They looked like they were made out of clay, but being edible, probably weren’t. I don’t think I would be able to eat it. I would just keep it on a mantel somewhere until bugs came.

This was one wild merry-go-round. That tree weirds me out.








Here’s yet another example of what proves to be a Native American fixation of the French. Teepee? Yep. Feathers, headbands? Yep. Sitting Indian-style like Big Chief? Oh yeah. The one on the left always reminds me of Joel Grey.
Ohhh yes. Sandwich heaven. It was the most inauthentic grilled cheese ever – the bread was ‘sliced brioche’, since sliced bread doesn’t really exist here, the butter was margarine, and the cheese wasn’t even slices – it was shredded Emmental. Nevertheless, it was perfection. Also take note of our swanky plates.

Finally, I thought up a use for the bidet – it’s currently housing my very, very dirty jeans and a lot of laundry soap. I figure they need a bit more laundering than anything else I owned (those were the pants that I wore the entirety of my vacation).

And here’s the rest of the wash. I feel like that annoying neighbor who always leaves the towels out to dry even if it’s raining. Hopefully the rest of the building is used to it. I had to run down two flights of stairs the other day to retrieve a bra that careened to the atrium below. Laundry is a precarious business.

Here’s a two-for-one of my roommate as well as our dinner part last night. This is Suzy, and due to a conspicuous lack of dishes, had to use a gigantic mug for her wine. How classy. Eventually, people had to use huge tablespoons as forks since we ran out of flatware.


Tom, Carol, and I escaped for awhile to go down the street and get night pictures of the Arc du Triomph of Montpellier as well as the gigantic edifice that begins the aqueduct. The reflecting pool is particularly stirring at night.


Oh, this? Yeah, just my neighborhood. You know how it is. I live in the building right behind that white one in the middle, next to the church. It’ll be a sad transition to Vairo Village next year.

Friday Post

Due to a conspicuous lack of accessible internet, I fear that posting is going to be a bit scarce at least for a little while. However, Maximillian (fake English boy) donated his room and internet cable for awhile, so luck is on my side.

Check out this bad boy. Travis, you could swim in this thing. It doesn't look so huge in the photo - but then compare it to the pastries on the left. The jar was the size of a watermelon! It truly was economy size. I swooned.

Since I take requests, I'm listening to Mom and posting the illicit Mona Lisa. No one was paying any heed to the numerous signs warning against photography in the ML room, and the guards had pretty much given up on censoring pictures and just focused on hurrying the masses past in an orderly fashion.

Now this one was much harder to get. Absolutely no one was even attempting to take a picture. They had uniformed camera nazis lurking in the corners ready to pounce. With a bit of luck (and Laura being a convenient human shield) I had one shot to get a good picture. Happily, the light was good. I think Mr. David was definitely worth the trip to Florence.


Another perk of the city was that we had the opportunity to see Saint Francis of Assisi's cowl. How did we know it was a cowl?






Because of the copious signage! Hee. Girdle.





This is probably the scariest thing in all of Europe. Going up the seven hundred stairs in the Eiffel Tower, the directors probably realized that people would like a little visual stimulation coupled with a history lesson. The result is the frightening wax effigy to the left. It scared the bejeezus out of me. It's still terrifying.

Back in Montpellier

I made it back in one piece, good, but I've had to take an extra nap or two to return to normal. I don't have a lot of time to post right now since my first class is in twenty minutes and it wouldn't be a great thing to be the tardy one of the first day. I think this one is Fiction to Film that explores movies that have been adapted from famous novels. I took a look at the course description and I've already read two of the three novels, Lolita and The Shining.

It's really bizarre to see all of the new people swarming around the office and not knowing anything. I barely knew all the names of the people from last semester, so this should take me until May. I'm sure you're all glad to know that my new roommate Suzy is neither creepy nor weird, and luckily we have similar views of food storage/heat conservation/internet access. What more do you need?

Barcelona

We´re in the "Easy Internet Cafe" right now, which claims to be the cheapest way to get online. It did indeed have reasonable rates. There was just some major drama in the aisle across from ours - an Australian girl freaked out at this Catalan guy because she said he tried to steal her bag. He did look pretty guilty and left right away, so she was probably right. That was the second Australian we´ve seen today. This morning we shared a train section with a very nice Aussie that had been all over Europe for the past month.

Sadly, cheap internet cafes have their downsides - no USB ports seem to be functional. Of course, that means no pictures of the incredibly fun things we´ve been doing. I think you´ll make it.

By complete accident, we managed to be here in Barcelona over the major Catholic holiday of Epiphany, or El Dia de los Reyes, which included a major parade right next to our hotel. We got free flags and were pelted with candy thrown from trucks.

I don´t know what to do without photographic accompaniment. So, there should be another post tomorrow.

Firenze

Florence is awesome. In spite of having to get up at 6:00 this morning, I haven't felt like I need a nap or anything. We figured that we would have a chance to sleep a little while on the train, since it takes three hours to get from Rome to here. That was not in the cards. Why not? Because we managed to get a cabin with Italy's most obnoxious and inconsiderate citizen ever.

It's impossible to describe how terrible she was. Laura, the girl next to me, and I were all trying to sleep. Despite this, Italian girl continues to talk full volume on her cell phone, making at least ten calls and receiving just as many. Then, after I shut the curtain because the sun was directly in my eyes, she opens it again. Thinking that perhaps she didn't realize that I closed it for a reason, I shut it again. She says something in Italian to me and opens it. Because, you know, her having a good view definitely outweighs my desire to sleep. Then, she kept kicking at my feet so that she could stretch all the way across, pushed her purse onto Laura's side, and put up the armrest so that Laura couldn't lean against it. I managed to grab a picture of her as we were disembarking. It's not the best shot by any means, but I didn't want any more to do with her. Notice that she continues to talk on her cell phone.

Eek! This is like, half the size of even a SmartCar! The brand on it said 'Electronic Rickshaw' and only had one tire in the back. It was the smallest car I have ever seen. There wasn't even room for two headlights! It was like a Vespa with a roof.


It's a good city for window shopping. All up and down the main bridge are jewelers with nice displays. Note the beautiful view. Florence has nice bridges.


This one looks like I took a picture of Laura and Photoshopped it onto some Italian scenery. It looks about as legit as one of those photo machines at the mall.


The shoes themselves were pretty bad, but the fact that they were made out of real python makes them worthy for this blog.






Had I room and cash enough, this would have been at the top of my list. It's quite possibly the best knife holder in the world.






Don't worry, all; they have just as many street performers here as they do back in Montpellier. There was one block by a museum that was just littered with them. This interesting fellow (or gal) is in a gold spandex mummy outfit, and only their eyes were showing. Creepy and weird.

Roma, Day Two

Rome has been an incredibly fun city to visit, especially for the food. Today alone, Laura and I managed to eat panini, pizza, and gelato. Oh, it was so wonderful. The sandwich was especially good because we ate it at 2:30 after not having anything all morning and standing in a huge line at Saint Peter's Basilica. Laura got some sort of proschiutto and I got breaded chicken with mozzarella and tomatoes. Laura even splurged and got a Pepsi.

Random famous works of art were found all through the Basilica. This is the one that Michelangelo did when he was twenty-three years old.


Disappointment clouded the afternoon - apparently the Vatican doesn't want people to come visit its museum, because they closed at three thirty. Three thirty! We hung around despondently for awhile until it set in that we really couldn't see the Sistine Chapel. That was the big bummer of the day.

But . . . we did see the Colosseum! Check it out! The audio tour on the bus used the earbuds which hurt my ears, but was very informative. Did you know . . . the Colosseum used to be twenty stories high? True fact. Note the horse-drawn carriage. There weren't any fences around it so you could go pose and everything.

Like Laura! Mr. Senerius would be so proud. Tap! Ancient Roman ruins! Gladitorii romanis! Cave canis!



The Pantheon was definitely a fun visit. It's very old looking and column-y from the outside, but the inside was very golden and colorful. We sat right outside on some nice fountain steps and ate . . .

Italian gelato! We kept passing different ice cream stores all day and I was so incredibly tempted, but I managed to stave off my longings until after dinner. We were allowed to choose three different flavors, so I picked tiramisu, oriental cream, and pistachio. Laura got dark chocolate, coffee, and mint chocolate chip. It was, I think, the best ice cream of my life.


Tomorrow we have to get up at an ungodly hour to get to Florence by eight something. I paid dearly and bought a DVD at this internet cafe so I can transfer all of my pictures. Even with the enormous camera card that I have, I am a picture taking fool so I keep overloading the card. It will be nice to have a fresh start for Florence and Barcelona.